(Actually - no, you don't. At last count there were somewhere in excess of seven billion people on this planet more deserving of your sympathy than Andrew Bolt. But I digress...)
The poor little pet isn't allowed to vilify Indigenous people for not being black enough any more. So, he has turned his attention to random people using rude words (imagine that!) on Twitter (shock! horror!).
Bolt then quotes some of Adjunct Prof. Tom's choicer tweets:
And so, Andrew Bolt drops dead. Australian culture improves. OTOH, Alan Jones will go first. Miranda Devine should go down on Donald Trump.— Analectic Τom Osborn (@call_me_tomasso) September 20, 2016
Barnaby advises a human being to speak to George Christensen. What a narsehole! #auspol— Analectic Τom Osborn (@call_me_tomasso) September 19, 2016
And so on."Creating a Man's Religion" by E Abetz, C Bernardi, B Joyce, K Andrews, S Morrison, AJ Abbott, A Hastie, L Shelton, M Baird and Suk Muk Dik.— Analectic Τom Osborn (@call_me_tomasso) September 18, 2016
It's absolutely terrible, of course, that someone could do what amounts to volunteer work at an educational institution - that's what 'Adjunct Professor' means - and in their spare time swear on the Internet! Someone like Andrew Bolt, who gets paid top dollar for writing divisive, inflammatory columns in one of Australia's leading birdcage-liners-of-tomorrow, is clearly on the moral high ground here. (For the benefit of any regular Bolt reader who may have stumbled upon this article: that's what's known as sarcasm.)
Still, I can't help wondering what Bolt's agenda is in this instance. If he's hoping to precipitate another Martin Hirst episode, he's likely to be disappointed. Adjunct-Professoring isn't Tom's main job. As I understand it, he makes a living as a consultant in the IT business. You know; with actual clients who pay him actual money for providing actual services. And I'm guessing that those clients either don't know or don't care (or both) about his tweeting on the prospect of Miranda Devine performing fellatio on Donald Trump.
Maybe it's just Bolt pandering to the knuckle-draggers who constitute his usual audience. "These clever academic types; their shit stinks too!" or something to that effect.
Or maybe it was just a slow news day in Bolt's sad little hate-and-fear-mongering world, and there was no better subject matter available for his first column of the day.